Press "Enter" to skip to content

BREAKING: White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki Tests Positive For COVID-19

Fox News confirmed this afternoon that White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has tested positive for COVID-19.

She now joins a long list of politicians, celebrities, and virtue signalers alike who have contracted the virus even after being vaccinated.

Psaki stated that she chose not to accompany Joe Biden this past Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday on his latest Overseas Cringe Tour. The reason cited: a member of Psaki’s household tested positive for the China Virus earlier in the week.

Fox News went on to quote Psaki:

“On Wednesday, in coordination with senior leadership at the White House and the medical team, I made the decision not to travel on the foreign trip with the President due to a family emergency, which was members of my household testing positive for COVID-19,” Psaki said in a statement.

“Since then, I have quarantined and tested negative (via PCR) for COVID on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday,” she added. “However, today, I tested positive for COVID. While I have not had close contact in person with the President or senior members of the White House staff since Wednesday — and tested negative for four days after that last contact — I am disclosing today’s positive test out of an abundance of transparency. I last saw the President on Tuesday, when we sat outside more than six-feet apart, and wore masks,” Psaki added. “Thanks to the vaccine, I have only experienced mild symptoms which has enabled me to continue working from home. I will plan to return to work in person at the conclusion of the ten day quarantine following a negative rapid test, which is an additional White House requirement, beyond CDC guidance, taken out of an abundance of caution.”

Of course she was vaccinated! Of course she has mild symptoms! Wake up, people!

I’m no doctor but common sense has told us that COVID-19 is an illness that targets a very specific group of people. Younger, healthier patients are able to fight the virus off easily versus say someone who is over the age of 65 , weighs 800 pounds, and smokes a pack of Virginia Slims every single day.

But I’m not entirely sure she contracted it from a family member.

I mean, Joe Biden has been COUGHING AND HACKING on people like the cure lives in his spit.

You can’t keep a six feet distance from this guy–heck, not even a 12 foot distance–without being sprayed by Joe’s saliva like you’re front row at Sea World.

Biden’s had this “tickle” in his throat since 2020. Somebody get this guy a cough drop! (maybe a REEE-cola)

Even Jen herself tries covering for him!

Dr. Jake Tapper, MD even attempted to coach Biden on how to cough. Still can’t get a handle on it. Jen may need to bust out the Vick’s VapoRub for Joe’s feet.

The #1 rule of coughing in your hand: you never do it on live television and then proceed to shake someone’s hand after doing so (also captured on live television):

Congratulations, everyone!

What are you going to do with your 10 days of no Jen Psaki?

Feel better soon, Jen.

We’ll circle back with you once you’re asymptomatic from being asymptomatic.